Chivalry isn’t dead. As far-fetched as this may seem, in this short-text social media casual sex era, gentlemen are not extinct. We are few, we go unnoticed and we are fighting for survival in a world that seemingly prefers one-night-stands over monogamy, clubbing over candle-lit dinners and body-shots over a glass of wine.
Nice guys finish last, they say. We’re old-school, they say. We’re a dying breed, they say. Personally, the helpless romantic that I am, I don’t care what they say. I am here to help resurrect the lost art romance, chivalry and being a gentleman. You can thank me later, ladies.
With that said, here are my tips to help you guys become gentlemen and you girls understand what to look for.
Less sex, more emotion
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a guy, and as a guy – sex is very important. However, nowadays, the term “making-love” is ridiculed, relationships have been reduced to one-night-stands and “hooking up” has replaced dating. As a gentleman, realize that sex isn’t everything. Send a late night text with a simple “good night” instead of looking for a booty-call. Invite her to hangout and talk, with no strings attached. Listen. Show interest. Pay a compliment. There are many different ways to satisfy a woman other than in the bedroom, and a true gentleman knows this.
Phones are not just for texting
Yes, as odd as this sounds, you can actually call a girl and talk – yes, with words coming out of your mouth and all… It seems that smartphones and social media have reduced our interaction to the likes of “lol”, emoticons and the never-ending game of “he liked my pic, she liked my comment”. Granted, social media has its benefits, as the scope of possibilities is endless. But this doesn’t mean that we should reduce ourselves to the ridiculous levels of nonsense found in the late-night-text, wait-3-days era. If you see a girl you like, be direct, be courteous and strive to get a phone number. And once you’ve charmed her into giving you her number, don’t text – call! Call to say hello, call to see how she’s doing and especially call to ask her out. If you can ask her out face to face, as intimidating and scary as this can be, do it!
The little things won’t go unnoticed
A big part of being a gentleman is paying attention to the little details, the ones that have seem to disappear with time. These details may be hard to remember at first, but they are simply good habits that with time and practice will become an effortless part of who you are.
So, here are just a few things that can help you along the way:
Always open the door. When she’s cold, give her your jacket. Pay for the first dates, none of this “going dutch” nonsense. Bring her flowers. Leave a nice note for her to find. Give up your seat. Help her with her chair. Help her with her coat. Be polite, “please” and “thank you” doesn’t cost a thing. Always pay attention to table manners. Be respectful, not only to her, but to everyone. Look her in the eyes when she talks. Walk her to the door. Listen. Ask questions. Compliment her, all the time. And when the time comes, man up and ask for her father’s blessing before you propose.
So here’s to all the gentleman in hiding, the closet-romantics and the young guys who simply don’t know better.
Chivalry is making a comeback.